Well, it’s been more than a year since my last post. Apologies. Life, as I’m sure we all know, can throw up all sorts of things that keep us busy, distract us. Sometimes it’s good sometimes not so good.
This past year has been rather difficult. We put a lot of work and effort into getting our house on the market back in March, lots of decorating, fixing things, decluttering, getting rid of things and generally making the place look nice. We made our wills, sorted out lots of important stuff. Put an offer on a house, which was accepted. Had an offer on our house after a month or so, which we accepted. Went through all the usual legal paperwork, financial dealings and moved in on the 1st August. In all of that time, and for some time before, I’d been having a dilemma. Did I want to have a child one day or not?
I spent a lot of time flipping between yes and no. Lots of overthinking, lots of anguished thoughts I’d be no good as a mother because I had been finding being a stepmother to be tough at times.
Sadly my husband did not want to have any more children. I knew I wanted a child enough that I had to make a choice, that I didn’t want to stay with someone who didn’t want any more as that would cause me pain for a long time. And that I didn’t want to force a child upon someone who didn’t want another, for that would cause pain for everyone involved, and I didn’t want a child that much to cause that.
So shortly after the move – we separated. It was tough. But we knew it was the right thing to do. We have parted as good friends. We have shared the house for the past five months and now I am preparing to move out. In that time I have found a new relationship with someone I used to work with, and by February I will be moving in with him. We will have known each other for four years by then. If someone had introduced us at work and said “And in four years time you will be living together” I think we would have both laughed a lot. However, it will be the start of something new. My ex husband is now embarking on a new relationship and I hope it works out well.
So I think it is time that I get back into the things I enjoy doing. Going ahead into 2017 with a positive outlook, and finding my joy again. So look out over the coming weeks for some new posts. If there are any subjects you are interested in and would like to know more about – drop me a comment and I will be happy to oblige!